Book Review: 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks

View fullsize

When we were expecting Finn, some friends of ours recommended the book 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano. While Finn did not sleep through the night at 12 weeks (or until well after 1 year), I found a few things in the book helpful, particularly the schedule recommendations and tips for weaning night feedings. So, as Penelope was approaching 3 months old, I decided to re-read the book. 

Overall, I think the author has a lot of helpful, practical information and resources in the book, and yet it is presented in a way that is not overwhelming. I also really like that it is designed to be a quick read. I would recommend it for families that want to help build healthy sleep patterns for their baby.

Here are the specific things I liked and found helpful. 

View fullsize

The Limited Crying Solution

The author outlines her philosophy of “The Limited Crying Solution” on page 7 as her recommended method to use during training. It is more of a middle ground between the “cry it out” method and the “no cry method”. I definitely found this helpful, especially for when Finn was a baby, because I couldn’t bring myself to let him cry it out forever and ever, but obviously going in right away so he didn’t cry at all was unrealistic.

Empowered as a parent / set boundaries

One of her “Four Foundations of Baby Sleep Success” (pages 16–18) is “You must feel empowered as a parent”, and as you are empowered by that realization, you must also realize that you cannot protect your baby from everything. One of the quotes I particularly appreciated said, “You are entrusted with your child for a short period and need to help him build skills during that time.” I like this overall philosophy that we are entrusted with our child, and we need to give them tools and skills to get them ready for the world. This definitely resonated with Dylan and my overarching philosophy of raising our kids.

Order of training

On page 52, she outlines how to get started with her sleep training method. I think the idea of sleep training a baby is a bit overwhelming from the get-go. I really appreciated that she outlined an order of training to help the parent know exactly where to start, even that day, and to not feel overwhelmed. 

The order of training she recommends is to work on

1. Feeding during the day

2. Feeding during the night

3. Sleeping during the night

4. Sleeping during the day

In conjunction with the order of training, she also outlines the Requirements for getting started (page 53) based on your baby's weight, amount of food consumed per day, and age.

Daytime & Nighttime Toolboxes

A large crux of her sleep training is based off of the utilization of a Daytime toolbox to help stretch the time between feedings, and a Nighttime toolbox for soothing baby without picking him or her up (pages 54–56). These items are not necessarily anything mind-blowing, but I think as a new parent, it helped me to have a few items to bring to mind quickly to try to help distract or soothe my babe. 

Eliminating night feedings

I found this to be the single most helpful part of the book when we had Finn. He held onto his 3am feeding forever. For quite a while, I really do believe he was hungry, and it was the right thing to do to continue that feeding. However, there came a time when I knew in my heart that he could make it through the night and just wanted it for comfort primarily. So, I used the author's techniques to help wean him from that feeding. I honestly don't know how I would have approached eliminating his night feeding if I hadn't read this book.

Two additional notes—

1. She gives her information about eliminating night feedings in both ounces (for bottle feeders) and minutes (for breast feeding moms) so her techniques can be used by anyone.
   

2. She also includes a few sample schedules, which are nice for more visual learners to see what a day would look like.

Tell me, have you read 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old? If so, what did you think? Any other sleep training books you would recommend, especially to new parents?

(Affiliate link used)

My 'One Little Word' for 2018

View fullsize

Have you heard of One Little Word? I came across it two years ago from listening to the Elise Joy podcast. Elise and Ali Edwards have a yearly conversation about their One Little Word, and it is always very interesting to listen to. You can find this year's conversation here. If you are curious about One Little Word, I recommend listening to it. It's a quick listen, and she links to a bunch of resources in her show notes for you to explore further.

The basic premise is that you pick a guiding word for the year. In my mind, it is like picking a theme that you use to guide you and your year.

I have never actually done it before. Last year I thought about a word but nothing really stood out to me, and then I pretty much forgot about it. As I've been thinking about this year, though, I've been thinking about how it would be nice to have a word to guide my goals and resolutions so they are a bit more cohesive.

For whatever reason, the word that has stuck out to me is DIG—as in Dig In, Dig Up, Dig Out. I particularly liked these definitions...

1) Break up & move earth with hands, a tool, or machine

2) Push, poke, prod, jab, or shove

3) Excavate

4) Bring out something hidden or stored

5) Search or rummage for

So, what do I want to dig into or dig up in 2018? Well, here's what I've been thinking about...

Dig into my relationship with God—

I've been thinking about the concept of abiding with God, particularly in the day-to-day things of life, and I want to spend some time reading verses from the Bible about that.

I also can easily get caught up in anger, anxiety, impatience, and general discontentment that swirls around in my heart. I've been thinking about this verse from 1 Peter 3:3–4—"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." The part about the gentle and quiet spirit really stands out to me. I want to explore what that would look. I would like to read, "Keep a Quiet Heart" by Elisabeth Elliot to facilitate some more thoughts about that.

Dig / prod / poke / shove myself to live a more active lifestyle—

After the baby comes, consistently do my kettle bell workouts (which I had started before I was pregnant and really enjoyed).

Say "yes" to going for walks and playing outside with Finn.

Generally be more proactive about doing activities with Finn, especially ones that get us moving.

Part of this will involve digging up some bad lifestyle habits of choosing laziness, eating poorly, etc.

Dig into being a mom to two kids—

I have no idea what this will look like, but I definitely want to leave room that it will be a transition. It's just been Finn and I home for the last 3 years, so having a newborn is going to be quite a change. Plus, Finn will start preschool two days a week in the fall.

Dig out my painting skills and prioritize time painting regularly—

Rather than trying to learn a new creative hobby, I would like to dig out my painting skills and dust them off a bit. I haven't painted in years. It's definitely going to take some creative muscle stretching, but I think I'd like to start by painting some florals and landscapes. It will be a much looser style than I've done previously, and I'm feeling excited and inspired to try it out. I think I'm going to buy this desk easel and a pack of canvases so I don't have an excuse to keep me from jumping right in.

My one resolution, which doesn't really fit into the categories above, is to take better care of my skin. Primarily, this means washing my face and applying moisturizer at night and regularly wearing sunscreen. I'm pretty much the worst about washing my face when I'm tired and it's cold and the water is going to take forever to heat up. But, it's such an easy thing to do and takes very little effort in the grand scheme of things.

Do you make resolutions? Is there anything you are trying to focus on in 2018?

Ways to Make the Weekend Feel Special

View fullsize

In many ways, the weekend can feel very similar to the weekdays for me as a stay-at-home mom. The main thing that marks the days as different is that my husband is home from work. I realized a few months ago that there are a few things we can try to do to make the days feel different/special/relaxing.

Go out to breakfast—I can be a creature of habit, and when it comes to breakfast, I definitely am. We tend to rotate between a handful of restaurants, and I have a favorite dish at each. I like Redstone for their Eggs Benedict and cheesy hash browns, Good Day Cafe for the Eggs Benedict and seasoned potatoes, and Blackbird for the Colleen O'Brien. The Original Pancake House has good pancakes, but it can have a long wait. The best part about going out to breakfast is that there are no dishes to clean up!

Steal some time away to read, do a project, run some errands—Uninterrupted time to do almost anything is a welcome change. I recently finished reading through the Harry Potter series. I had never read the 5th-7th books so it was fun to re-read the first few, and by the time I got to the 7th book, I could barely put it down.

View fullsize

Take a super, extra long shower—See previous item if you are wondering why this one is on the list. :)

Go for a walk

View fullsize

Plan a fun outing—like taking Finn to the zoo or wandering around a bookstore picking out books/magazines

Watch a movie during nap time

I'm curious to know, what do you do to make the weekends fun/special/relaxing?

On Love

Quote by Ann Landers, advice columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Image illustrated by Mary Galloway for Refinery29.

In honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to share a quote about love.

"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Love is a quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real.

It gives you strength and grows beyond you—to bolster your beloved."

I really like this quote because I think it better reflects what true love looks like over a lifetime. A lot of what is written about love is overly inflated, and in my opinion, not accurate. It's more about infatuation that burns hot and then burns out.

True love has a solid foundation of friendship. It starts with a little spark and as you breathe air and life into it, it catches. You have to work at it. You have to show grace for your partner's imperfections (and accept and apologize for your own). This love might not burn as hot at times, yet there is a depth to it that is wonderful and sweet and fulfilling.

On Pacing

Hustle felt like the word of 2015. You can find pretty prints of the word all over Pinterest. I have a love-hate relationship with words like this. There is something good and right about working hard and yet there is nothing enviable about working yourself into oblivion. We can probably all think of someone we know (or know of) that just oozes stress, running around like a crazy person.

See, the lie of "hustle" is that it calls you to a hurried pace. There's no counterbalance. No anchor to help slow/stop the suction of the worm-hole of busy. From there, it is easy to fall into the belief that who you are as a person is dependent on what you accomplish, how much you have hustled.

I truly believe we can strive for pacing in life that is healthy—that accounts for working hard, relaxing, and just generally having fun—because who you are as a person is not dependent on what you accomplish or how much you achieve.

I feel this struggle of the hustle firsthand. I have Achiever in StrengthsFinder (see Note below if you aren't familiar), so each day is a blank slate and I need to get things done to feel productive and accomplished. For me, "getting things done" means tasks (i.e. calling the insurance company, scheduling a vet visit, doing laundry, etc.) I am slowing re-orienting my perspective to include things like playing with Finn, going for a walk just for fun, and reading a book into my view of a good day.

So, as I think about my hopes for this year, I want to be mindful of the lie of the hustle. I want to work hard at my responsibilities and be reliable. I also want to leave room in my schedule for time with friends and family, for doing hobbies I enjoy just for the sake of them and not because they might make money or make me look cool. I want to allow myself times to have nothing on my schedule but curling up with a good book. I want to let myself enjoy a night of binge watching a show on Netflix without feeling like it was a waste of time or that I "should have been productive". I want to let myself have times to enjoy things just for the sake of enjoying them. To do something inspiring if the motivation strikes. To let myself linger over brunch with friends. I don't want the hustle to eat me up because I don't want to end the day, the week, the year exhausted and frustrated. Life is in the memories of the year, not all the tasks I got done.

What about you, any hopes for 2016?

Note—If you haven't heard of StrengthsFinder, it is a personality test. It is very interesting, and I recommend you check it out. It will give you a list of 5 "strengths" based on your responses to their online questionnaire. For Dylan and I, knowing our strengths has been very enlightening of why we do what we do. You can buy the book from most bookstores or Amazon and that includes a link in the back to access the online questionnaire on their website.